Crazy-Chicago

I'm not crazy, I'm still getting a vibe. No lie, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I look up this girl is watching me. Last night, she extended the friendly banter into 'touching', albeit not inappropriately, BUT a shoulder squeeze, back pat, side poke. Ugggh. I'm just really getting weirded out. ONE MORE DAY!

On an even crazier note...my kid had ear surgery and now we face a summer of not being able to get her ears wet. She's got some real structural issues with her inner ear which was the reasoning for this surgery, and to determine if she will need another surgery later. Regardless, she now has to stay dry. We got 2 different kinds of ear plugs, but she is so freaked out that she jumps out of the pool every 2 seconds to have me check the plugs. She is so afraid they are going to fall out and her head will combust. The pool is no longer fun. I guess I can put off that redecorating project after all....

CHICAGO - I'm trying to decide if I want to go to Chicago in July. The last time I went in July it was hotter than Atlanta, and THAT's HOT (channeling Paris Hilton...). Not to mention the fact that Kevin will be working almost the entire time, so I'll be flying solo. I LOVED it there the last time I went, but I also brought the kids along to keep me company. I haven't decided to definately NOT bring the girls, but I am more leaning towards getting away without them. I just don't know. I'm definately very happy all on my own, but I just can't decide if the airfare is worth it. Decisions, decisions....

The grind, time to get back to it.

Vibe

I'm working as a volunteer on an annual event. I've been the chairperson in charge of catering for this event for the past 5 years. As a charitable event this is a voluntary job and all the help I get is by other generous volunteers. It is always a fun, fast paced environment and apparently the job gets done pretty well as I keep getting asked to return! The biggest challenge of this event is handling the volunteers under my charge. I can't pick and choose who I get so I make the most of what I'm presented with. Some of my help has been quite indispensable and I am grateful for each and every one of them. However, I have one volunteer that gives me a vibe.

This particular volunteer helped for the first time last year. I got the vibe last year as well, but I brushed it off. Since last year I've seen this particular person at a few different places where she does seem to seek me out. In fact, all the places I've seen her she says, "I was hoping you would be here...." as if she came, in part, to run into me. That is not the entire scope of this vibe, it is one very small part. There are numerous little things that just give me the vibe.

What is the vibe? Well, I think she may be attracted to me. I don't have any problem with people who are homosexual, but it makes me very uncomfortable to feel that someone is checking me out. I will be spending the rest of the week working in close proximity to this person and I just feel funny about it. Now, I know that I could be COMPLETELY off on this vibe. My husband doesn't get it, doesn't see it. I also have made him an integral part of my volunteer team and it is very clear that we are partners and that I am completely happy with my choice of partner. This volunteer knows a lot of the other volunteers, so I'm not the only connection she has to the event. It just seems that she prefers to be with me, near me, around me or helping me at every turn. She is nice, personable and easy to talk to, but I am just getting a VIBE!! And I don't know what to do.

This makes me uncomfortable in the same way it would make me uncomfortable if 'she' were a 'he'. The thought that someone feels something towards you that you either can't or won't reciprocate gives me a weird feeling. I've always been this way, like in high school when you know that someone liked you, but you didn't like them my solution was to avoid all contact.

There's nothing that I 'should' do about this. But the real problem is that I don't know if I'm right or way off base. Maybe she just likes me and is not a homosexual. I guess that is where I'm really wondering - which way does she go? If I knew, then I'd feel a lot better. Then again, if I knew I don't really know what I'd do. The funny thing that really makes me wonder about is that if she is gay and she is attracted to me - WHY? Not to tear myself apart, but I am 37, overweight, undertall and I wouldn't say I have any great 'style' at all. I definately don't have it on the visual. I wouldn't say that I'm all that interesting, but I can say that I am probably the most well rounded person I know (no pun intended). I am FIERCLY independent and I am not the least bit afraid to do any "man's" job. I am EXTREMELY easy going and tend to be a steady calm. I am a GROSSLY common sense driven and I rarely speak unless I am certain I am well educated on the topic. This, however, is not a good selling topic according to my husband as it tends to make me always RIGHT. What he fails to see is that if I don't know the facts, I keep my mouth shut, thus making me usually pretty straight on. I WON'T argue unless I'm certain I'm in the right.

At any rate, I have this situation and I don't know what to do with it. Likely it will only last a week and then I likely won't have to deal with it except on sporadic occasions that we run into one another. I'm planning a Girl's Night Out with some friends next week and I feel like a total heel not inviting her, but I just don't know what to do. Is it wrong to exclude her because I have a vibe???

Procrastination

I can't get around to admitting that I really am a procrastinator. It really doesn't apply to everything, but for a lot of stuff I simply wait until it HAS TO BE DONE before I even get near it. Not to say that I'm not a PLANNER, because, wow, am I ever a planner, but I just don't put things into motion nearly soon enough.

So I've been planning to decorate the pool house (a.k.a. - the basement) since last summer. Then I decided to wait until the kids went back to school. The entire school year I decided to wait until it was closer to summer. Now the kids are here and the pool house (really, should I call it pool 'room'?) hasn't changed in over a year. Now I think I must wait until fall when the kids are not here. However, waiting until the fall will cause me to bitch all summer long about how much I hate the pool 'room'. I like to torture myself I guess.

I have numerous unfinished projects around my house that I can't seem to get motivated to start on. When I'm crazy busy with work, it is impossible and I know it. But then when work slows down I feel like I need a break, not a project - therefore I get nothing done. Then work will get going again. It's a vicious cycle and I don't see a stop anytime soon.

It's a wonder I'm here on this blog today, I've been putting it off for days on end. I guess I'm just so obsessed with not being a routine person that I won't let myself commit to ANY routine or schedule whatsoever. Poo. How is it that a person can know their faults, yet not fix them? I wonder how those ultra motivated people do it. I need a motivational pill.

FAKE!!

Here's a picture of my awesome Mother's Day gift. A new outfit for my iPhone...... Yet the picture sucks because the iPhone camera sucks. Those are lovely little polka dots in fabulous colors and scattered in are monkey faces. TOO CUTE. My second favorite choice was a skin for the phone which has multicolored Skulls all over it. TOO COOL.

I had a meeting yesterday with a sales person. A sales person that I don't particularly care for, nonetheless, the product is something I need. I tried to NO end to get this taken care of via email. I'm very specific about what I want and I am unwavering on the price. Still, this salesperson would only meet face to face. I offered 30 minutes of my time to which 28 minutes were spent with her talking about her personal life - as if I care. I don't. I won't. She also asked me about my husband and seemed all smug with herself that she could ask me if he is still in his same line of work (as if she even knows him). She then proceeds to tell me all about how she knows someone who does the same thing and blah, blah, blah. FAKE, fake, fake, fake. She doesn't know him, doesn't care about him and I know it. Such a fake display of trying to make a connection with me. The comment just came out of no where, a horrible delivery and it was not even close to sincerity. UGH. Better yet, it wasted the time I needed to get this deal done.

At the end of 30 minutes I simply stood up and told her that my time was up and I had to leave. We got no where on the deal, she did not commit to any pricing or features and yet the bitch had the nerve to ask me to sign a contract with no price listed. blink. blink. blink. Are you f-ing out of your mind?? Do I really look that stupid? Have I given the impression of myself that I'm available for anyone to f*#k me over? I have been dealing with this asstard for 2 years and she has ever so innocently tried to overcharge me on every occasion. I have called her on EACH AND EVERY SINGLE offense and gotten the prices corrected. I'm so sick of this stupid load of crap. The best part is that she is the only rep I can deal with in this area so I don't have the luxury of just requesting another rep. Damn. So, NO, you stupid, stupid, bitch I will not "just sign it here and we will work out details later". Give me some credit for having even an ounce of a coherent thought.

I did not sign anything and now I'm going to have to waste more minutes of my life to finish this deal. Go ahead and hate me for stereotyping, but I honestly hate salespeople. If there is one thing that I hate it is FAKE and there are very few salespeople that I have ever met that are not fake pieholes trying to screw me over. I know there are some good people out there, I just haven't met you.

Woof...

Is it appropriate to leave your dog in the car while you go into a sit down restaurant? Granted they left the back of the car open, but these dog are not leashed in anyway and were particularly fierce, growling and barking as I walked past. Not only could they possibly jump out, but if any little kid had run up to that car they may have lost an ear or nose! These dogs were not nice and they were not supervised. BTW, lunch at this establishment was an EASY hour long escapade. People never cease to amaze me.

Done!

I'm a yearbook editor at my kids' school. It sounds very important, but it is glorified scrapbooking. Anyhoo, I created a book - 136 pages!! The book has been delivered and distributed to the kids and I am finally done with this 9 month long project. WHEW!!

I had a great idea - to let some of the kids design a few pages in the book. O.M.G. This was SO hard for me to let go and let them do it how they wanted to. I'm such a control FREAK. They chose horrendously loud backgrounds, hard to read fonts, terrible photos and BORING clipart. O.M.G. What was I thinking???? I tried hard to guide them positively and allow them their own creative freedom. I bit my tongue and held back my gasps as they threw unrelated clip art willy nilly all over a page. I believe I developed an ulcer over the entire process of letting go. And the book turned out GREAT. I am in utter disbelief that I was thisclose to changing some of their work to make it look better. Granted, it is NOT perfect, not even close. But the kids love it and as much as I thought the book would not flow, it really isn't that bad. It shows so many different perspectives. I am pleasantly surprised at how much I like the book.

This idea of letting something go is something I need to work on translating into my everyday life. I find myself taking on things in order to make sure that they are done right. Most of the time it would not really matter one way or the other. I continually judge and rank others on how they host an event or perform a task. I'm highly critical of anyone who is in charge of anything I attend - I surely could have remembered to bring an extension cord, MY GOD who goes camping without extension cords!!??.......I digress.

I don't think my problem is perfection, but rather preparedness. The absolute best complement my ever given me is when my child said "Mommy, you are the most prepared woman I know!" I think I could have hit the moon I was so high on that comment. I'm the one who has the matches, I'm the one with the knife/scissors, the sunscreen, the bandaids, the hats, the extra sandwiches.......you name it. When going somewhere I am definately PREPARED for the worst case scenario. Take a field trip for school - if I'm a chaperone I automatically assume that no less than 3 children will forget their sack lunch. Therefore I pack enough food for 15 people in my cooler, you know, just in case. I am also the person who begins to hyperventilate when leaving a foreign country and the airport security confiscates my airline terminal purchased bottle of water at the gate! My GOD, when that plane is delayed and we are stuck on the tarmac for 5 hours I want to be the one with the bottle of water that saves all of mankind. And yes, my car has any number of batteries in it at all times, along with anything you might need in a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, mass world destruction or girl scout camping. You should see my 3 day earthquake kit (I do not live in an earthquake area) and I believe we could live for 3 years on it. I also have kits to secure my family in our innermost bathroom with duct tape to cover all holes and vents in the event of any type of airborne outbreak. hee heee heeee heee. Don't be scared to come a little closer, I'm really not crazy.

I don't believe I am this way for recognition purposes because I LOATHE to be noticed. I think it relates to my low self confidence. If I am the prepared person I have a way to feel good about myself - yay me. I love to be behind the scenes when it comes to anything. I'm like the pageant coach who loves to make the beauty queen a success, but please just leave me backstage. I don't want anyone to take credit for my work, but I also don't want a round of applause. I LOVE it when people notice that everything is "just right" and I don't mind at all if you talk among yourselves that I am a mastermind of planning - just don't tell me. I have a hard time accepting your compliment. I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. Crazy, introverted, prepared me. At least I think I did it for me, but I'm not sure. I think I'm just a bit weird.

Bowling....

These are my children bowling. Set up some plastic water bottles, get a ball and use a big sister with an oversized candy cane to clear the lane. What could be more realistic?

Why YES, that would be a WII in the background, and surprisingly we own WII SPORTS, which includes BOWLING. Hmmm.....what is wrong with this picture?

And here is my totally hot hubby....

All it takes is a backwards hat to push me over the edge. Smokin'!! I could totally eat this man with a spoon.