Poop

We have 2 cats. Recently one of them, "M" has begun pooping on our carpet.

The cats have full access via a cat door to the outside world, they also have a catbox in the basement, where the catdoor area is. WTF???!!

Could it be rebellion? Our cats have been in the family longer than the kids. The cats don't really like the kids (seeing as how the arrival of kids pretty much kicked the cats to the bottom of the ladder). ALSO, one of my children has recently figured out how to pick up, dress up and carry around the cat. My child will only do this to "M" as he is a decidedly good sport and won't scratch her eyes out. I do believe that one day he will go postal on her, but I've given many a fair warning to them both - I can only hope for the best.

Could it be that we recently went on vacation and left the cats alone for a week? Are they mad?? My initial reaction is that "M" is PISSED about being abandoned for a week. Now, before you go call the kitty police realize this - the cats can come and go as they please, they had automatic fresh water at all times and a bigass self feeding container. No one was neglected.

The POOP mystery was solved by my husband. He caught "M" in a struggle, flailing and fighting, meowing and thrashing.......STUCK in the cat door!! This is the single funniest, sad situation I believe I've every encountered. The poor cat has eaten himself into oblivion and can no longer fit through the cat door which leads to the basement!! "M" has always been a big boy, but apparently having a week of self feeding has pushed him over the edge into full on KITTY OBESITY. He can't get to the catbox, he can't get to the outside via the basement because he simply can't get to the basement!! He won't fit through door number one, though try as he might. So I give you......drumroll, please.....Mr. Fatass Kitty Cat "M". And I beg to find out exactly how to fit this ROUND ASS through a square hole.

The cat door has been removed for the safety of all cats involved (and to make room for a larger hole which will house a DOG door, to accomodate the 'Hey Kool Aid' Cat.)

No cats, or children, were harmed in the making of this post......and yes, he is now on diet food.

Pee

What do you do when a really good friend tells you something and it causes you to never want to visit her again? And it has nothing to do with her.

It's him (but that's usually the case - sorry guys...). So, we are just chatting and having some quality girl time when it somehow gets around to talking about our men and that's when I find out this interesting tidbit. Her man is OBSESSED with peeing outside. Maybe it's territorial, maybe it's a love for the outdoors, who knows. Every chance the man gets he pees in the backyard. EVERY CHANCE. Meaning almost daily. At first I found this funny, but then I started to think about it. GaaROoSS!

The thought of my kids playing in that yard is disturbing, but worse than that is the thought that there is no soap or sink in that backyard - meaning I don't want to touch their doorknobs!! EEEwwwww!! Then, does he go in the house and wash his hands, or is this an all natural experience and he goes on about his business. Is the whole.house.contaminated.????

I'm a germ freak, clearly, but this is beyond my comprehension. So how much longer can I keep putting them off for that dinner invitation?

God Hates Sinners

We spent the last week along with all the young, nubile, mostly naked teens at the beach - SPRING BREAK, BABY!! We took our kids to Seaside for our first ever 7 day long beach trip. We usually cap out at 4 days, but we stayed the entire week. Probably because my husband liked the "scenery".

We purchased beach set up service (living LARGE). When we got to the beach we had a nice set of chairs and umbrellas just waiting for us to lounge around on all day in the peaceful tranquility. Or, um, not so much tranquility. See, when you pay for beach service you don't get to pick your spot - they just set up chairs and stick names on them. We were sandwiched in between a group of about 30 teens (boys & girls) who were very rowdy and the flipside was a quartet of old bitches smoking like chimneys. Guess who we were downwind from? That was $115 of well spent money. To top it all off, when we went to the beach for the afternoon only we get there to find a pair of fat ass men sitting in our chairs (clearly labeled) and they were dripping wet. We walked up and stated that the chairs were ours, and the bastard is like "oh, yeah man, here ya go". He hops up and pretends to not notice that we are in clothes, not swim suits and can now not use the chairs that WE PAID FOR because of his sagging, dripping wet ass has covered them in water, sweat and sun oil. STUPID FUCKER! I absolutely HATE people who show no respect for others.

The teenagers topped off the lameness by accidentally letting their volleyball get away from them. The ball was rolling fast down the beach and totally smacked a lady sleeping in the sun right in the face. It scared her half to death and clearly hurt. The teens, instead of taking the high road and apologizing for a very clear ACCIDENT, scattered like cockroaches in the light. By the time the lady lifted her head they were all sitting in chairs, laying on towels or frolicking in the surf as if they had never played volleyball in their lives. COWARDS. DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE SHITS. I loved the fact that the lady then decided that if they were not going to own up to it she was going to keep the volleyball. She promptly placed it under her head as a pillow. I love it!!

More stupid people followed by the droves, but my favorite by far was at the Goodwill store in Santa Rosa Beach. As we were searching the shelves for used books to read on the beach I noticed a girl walking around in a bright yellow shirt with black lettering. The lettering appeared to have been spray painted on and said "GOD HATES YOU SINNERS". This was on the back. She then turned and I caught the front, "REPENT OR BURN IN HELL". Lovely. She definately got her point across. The BEST PART was her car which we found as we left the store. I had to take pictures, and the photo of the driver's door is not totally clear as I realized that someone was sitting in the car and I then began to fear for my life that I might be thought a WHOREMONGER and burned at the stake.

The driver's door says "Donations Accepted, give money to driver" (uh, yeah, right) - "10% Tithe Your Pastor Lied". The side doors say "REPENT or BURN in HELL the ???, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, WHOREMONGERS, ???, ??? and ALL LIARS shall have their part in the LAKE of FIRE". Then we go on to find out that God HATES Muslims, gays, the KKK and *gasp* SANTA CLAUS......

We laughed as we took the photos of how outrageous and radical this type of witness is, but really it is scary to know that there are people like this in the world. They are creating more hatred and harm.

It was very clear by the reactions of others in the parking lot that the message they are *trying* to convey is getting very lost in the extreme delivery. I give them credit for having the conviction to so openly display their belief, but I'd be willing to bet that more people are turned off by this display. People never cease to shock me and it just reminds me that it "takes all kinds". I find it hard to believe that living a life feeling hated by God can be fulfilling. Aren't we all sinners? No human can be perfect or divine, therefore, if God hates sinners, he hates us all. What a sad existence.

And to cleanse your palette of the rant I just posted, here are some pictures of my cute kids on the beach. This is what is washes away all the rage of the stupid people in the world...

Rectified

So, things have been rectified, to a degree.

I'm not angry at anyone, but I'm still just deflated as to why it is that a male lacks the ability to figure it out sometimes. NO, I don't expect you to read my mind, but if I spend any amount of time with you I have come to the conclusion that you are not an idiot. In fact, I probably find you as a superior type of person loaded with common sense - otherwise, I would not waste my time on you. The thing I hate the most is when a person lacks the ability to anticipate and diffuse. Whatevs... All is not lost and hopefully next time he will be equipped with the human reaction instead of the fucked up asstard male response. Of course, if there is a next time I'll likely roast him and feed him to the cats, so let's hope for the best.

In medical news we found our 6 year old to have the need for a Mastoidectomy. This is the removal of portions of bones from the middle ear due to negative ear pressure and the fact that her ear drum is being sucked inside her head. OUCH, it sounds painful yet she has never once complained of ANY ear pain or problem. We went in based on pediatrician findings and it is much worse than expected. We are getting a second opinion before opting for this surgery as she will have to be generally anesthetized (a.k.a. mommy loses her mind). I need to stop reading about this stuff online until I know for sure because it is stressing me out completely. While this was in the past a pretty routine treatment (before antibiotics) it still freaks me out to no end. I'll be curled up in the corner chewing on my hair if she has to go under.

I'm off to an art exhibit. While others I know travel to foreign countries to visit cultural museums (multiples in one day), I have the artist right here in my own home. My oldest has her own masterpiece featured in the Administration Building in DOWNTOWN smallville. An exhibit for exceptional young artists. I haven't seen the piece as of yet, but I'm told by the artist that it is "Hamburger Bliss". Photos to follow, I'm certain.....

Significant

Yesterday, March 25, was a very significant day for me. First and foremost it was the birthday of my first child. Not to steal her thunder, but the day represents my hard work and I believe that mothers should get presents on their kids birthdays, but that is another blog line for another day......

Memories of 11 years ago came flooding back as we celebrated her special day. I remember the significant range of feelings I experienced in a short amount of time. The excitement of knowing it was going to happen finally!, the anticipation of seeing this little person who's been kicking me for months, the utter FEAR of the unknown (I skipped childbirth class), the stress of not knowing what was about to happen to me, the embarrassment of a host of people looking up my ass (I'm a VERY private type), the exhaustion, then the PAIN (which, no, I haven't forgotten), the relief that I survived, the JOY and the LOVE that washed over at the sight of my child and then the panic of realization that she was not OKAY, the fright, the worry and the confusion of not understanding what was wrong with her (turns out she had Strep in her blood, a serious condition, but she ended up fine), the turmoil of having her whisked away, not to be touched again for 3 days!!, the shock of realization that I AM A PARENT, what have I done??!!, the admiration of my partner in a new light - he's a DAD, and the finalization of happiness and satisfaction that I AM A MOM and I've done something wonderful with my partner and she's beautiful and will no doubt be the light of the world. WHEW, what a day....

Yesterday was also a very significant day as someone very significant in my life made me feel more INSIGNIFICANT than I have ever felt in my life. You think you know someone and then in one instance a person can surprise you like never before. Anger can rear it's ugly head and cause an otherwise sane and gentle person to become a monster. Someone who I love and who I thought I understood has disappointed me to the n'th degree. The range of feelings I experienced yesterday from this were, at first, my own anger at the reaction I received from him. The reality of the situation was that he was mad at something else completely and he full on unloaded it on me. And in a horrible and ugly way. And not in private. And now I feel completely small and insignificant. You see, I get mad and I get mad pretty often. I don't have a lot of patience for the plethora of stupid and inconsiderate people that I manage to interact with on a daily basis. YES, I can act bitchy about it, but to a degree I can realize who caused the anger and definately WHO DID NOT. I also have a huge feeling about private discussions, and I believe that there is a time and a place for disagreement and it is not while other people are around that are not involved. If you want to piss me off to no end, then please try to argue with me in public - I'm likely to rip your head off. Not really, I'm likely to get as far away from you as possible and continue the discussion later, in private. At any rate, I was treated like I never thought I would be treated, and in public no less. I would not stand for it in private, however, in public just drives the nail all the way through for me. I have been humiliated.

I want to be angry, but I just can't. I'm just not sure what I feel, but it is horrible. I have no idea how to rectify this situation and while he realizes that what went down was bad and should not have happened, I don't feel like he understands how horrible I feel it was. There have been a few opportunities to discuss this since yesterday and he hasn't taken any of them. I just feel so upset that this has not been addressed, while I know he realizes it was bad, wouldn't anyone want to fix it?? If I screwed up that bad, I couldn't sleep until I rectified it. How is it that you think you know someone, a friend of so many years, and you just.really.don't? How is it that you think someone knows how you tick, someone who's been there for so long, and they just.really.don't?

It was a joyous day - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANS!! And pathetic day, I feel like a nothing to someone whom I thought I was important to.

Emergency

I don't think I've had one customer in the past 6 months that was not in state of freakish panic over the near death experience one might have if they don't have someone's name sewn on something RIGHT THIS MINUTE OH MY GOD!!!!

What is wrong with people? Is it so very hard to plan ahead, even every once in a while? I guess I am to blame for continuing to enable these boneheads. I honestly can not see the dire need to have something embroidered STAT, but whateva...

As we were driving home from softball practice last night we passed a house with outrageous amounts of black smoke coming from the chimney. It was gigantic - I wondered if they were having an emergency, but I was also driving 50 mph. What is the civic duty here? Turn around and go check? Call 911 and say someone's chimney has smoke coming out? I didn't know what to do and given the traffic kept on moving along. But in my gut I felt like I should call or do SOMETHING. The first thought is that there are hundreds of cars zipping by, one of them will call. That sort of thinking is what is wrong with the world today, and sadly it is exactly what went through my head. Then we were passed by a firetruck, likely on it's way to the scene. The house is still standing today, so I'm assuming that the fire was taken care of - if there was a fire at all. The firetruck could have been purely coincidental and headed somewhere else. In essence I did NOTHING, even though I felt in my gut I should do something. I'm becoming a part of the problem...sigh.

Home

Home at last! Spent the better part of last week in Costa Rica. A truly beautiful place, and now returning to reality is hard. I've had 24/6 with Kevin and now it is back to the grind, something that is more difficult than I imagined.

We had no kids with us on this trip and it was purely self indulgence at every turn, but a well deserved reward for the hard work Kevin has put in for the past year to support our family. He really does his job well and he gives 110% effort to the company he works for. The best part is that he really does enjoy his work. This trip was giving back to him. I, of course, have done basically nothing all year except to spend his earnings, so I feel kinda like a mooch. I did my part to service the king's every desire and we had a very romantic and smoochy trip. Now I miss him like crazy all day long.

We went to a beautiful resort near a small town called Jaco. As resorts go it was amazing, and lush and full of iguanas, running under our feet by the pool, on the rooftops - tons of them. The food was incredible and the service was great. When we left the resort to see the "real" Costa Rica it was much different. No one is in a hurry anywhere - such a difference from home! Most meals ended up taking over an hour due to service. The atmosphere is very laid back in the entire town and there were no worries. While there were some areas which seemed they could be a little shady, we never felt unsafe.

The beaches in this area are black sand, something I was not expecting at all. It really looks dirty and is hard to get past after being exposed to such white sand beaches as we have. There were also no seashells along the shore, but only rocks. The rocks were smooth and rounded from the constant tumbling in the ocean. There are 121 volcanoes in Costa Rica so the black sand is a product of volcanoes I'm pretty sure. We did not get very educated on Costa Rica and unlike most of our travels we did very touristy things. We did the adventure tours advertised by the resort (zip line the rainforest, ATV the mountains and forest, surf, etc.). And while we had a lot of fun the day we were leaving I realized that we missed an opportunity to go to a National Forest and see tons of wildlife. I would have enjoyed it immensely and this is what we would have NORMALLY done. And now, I feel sad that I missed a great opportunity and I have nothing really poetic to share. And I did not see ONE, not even ONE poop throwing monkey!!!

I did, however, drink tons of fruity concoctions and feel like a queen, so that must be good for something, right??? I suppose now I'll have to go back and do it right...