Help a Girl

I've come to realize that my low self esteem is due largely in part to a high school relationship. I spent 3 years with a boy who continually degraded me and ended up eventually crushing my heart. The thing I can't realize is why I stayed. I read about women who are abused both physically and emotionally and wonder sometimes why they don't just leave, what man is worth it? In a way though, that was me. It was not worth it and I knew it, but I stayed with him, why?? I won't go into specifics on the relationship because the very thought of this man is not worth my time. He totally sucks and I hate him with every ounce of my being.

I pray for my daughters and the men that they will encounter in their lives. It makes me sick to think that they will spend even one second of their time on a low life man that will destroy any part of them. Sadly it has already started for my 10 year old and I have such a hard time relating to her how to handle it. I don't think I know how to handle it. I hit the world's biggest jackpot in college when I met my now husband and I'm certain that there is not another man on this earth that can measure up to him in the way he treats me. I got so lucky, I believe that if I had not met him and had continued in the relationship that I was in at the time I would be a statistic and would be one of those women that I am wondering about right now. I love my husband, he is utterly and completely my true love and I respect him more than I can say.

Red has tons of friends, everyone she meets is her friend and that includes tons of boys. Boys can be mean (so can girls), but there's one boy in particular that they liked each other and then had a falling out. The boy spent the rest of 3rd grade being horrible to my child, with insults, teasing, you name it. It infuriated me to no end and the school counselor's advice was to put all of the responsibility on my child. Instead of the school taking up issue with the boy my little girl is told that when someone hurts her feeling she should use her "I" messages. "When you say that I feel.....blah blah blah".

I do see the benefit in my child saying how she feels and letting other people know when they hurt her, but I want to see retrobution (is that the word?). I want to see the boy take some blame for what he is doing to my girl!! Come on!! I fully believe that women should take responsibility and do what they can to make a situation better, but I also say let's string up the stupid boys by their toes and make them hurt!!

It all boils down to this - I really think that I hate men. I believe that there are two men on this earth that I would ever trust, my husband and my dad. This is an issue that I struggle with everyday, with men that I encounter. I don't want to be this way, but I have been the victim of a long string of men that have degraded me, used me and killed my spirit. I don't want my girls to think this way because at times it consumes me. I am trying to be better. I do want to make sure that my girls are equipped to kick these types of guys to the curb without a thought - that is one of my big hurdles and I'm trying to figure out the best approach.