YIKES

The bridge collapse in Minnesota has me in a place that I never wanted to know existed. I've lived my life in fear of things falling while I'm on them. Not so much a fear as a morbid thought process of "what if" and how things would play out if said object fell and I was plummeting down. What would I think of? Would I devise a plan to cushion the fall? If I JUMP at just the right moment would it help? What MacGyver types of objects do I have with me that I can use to survive the rubble? So, I would not say I was afraid to cross bridges, but accutely aware that in movies, these things can fall.

I don't think I ever really thought it would happen to someone just driving along, minding their own business and BOOM, it's down. I've realized that I don't live, nor have I ever been in an area known for earthquakes, but I thought if ever I were to be in California I may have some mental issues. In an area that is earthquakey this could happen, but not from age, or rust, or whatever it was, somehow if nature causes it then it is meant to be. It's denial that I have. I have truly thought that this could not happen to me. Bridges are inspected and no DOT would ever allow us to drive on unsafe overpasses. Random little thoughts that someone is doing their job and doing it well so that I don't have to worry about bridges falling from the lack of structural integrity and more, lack of human intelligence. Silly me.

But now - NOW I KNOW. The harsh reality has hit home, the naive denial is over. Now I have fear of all things not on the ground. Street grates, overpasses, high decks, swings, sky lifts, ski lifts you name it. We did NOT go to the top of Stone Mountain this past weekend because I'm too much of a head case to get in the cable car, sky lift thingie. The very thing I have been in about a zillion times, but now I have a freakish fear that it will snap and drop. This bridge collapse comes riding on the tail of the cable snap at Six Flags which severed a girl's feet from her body. SEVERED. Did you hear that?? So not only might I fall from the cable car, I could lose some parts in the process because, after all, the thing is held up by CABLES. UNDER TENSION. Sheeesh.

Now, I'm a pretty practical girl and I even refused to let terrorists frighten me from flying, but this is not terrorism, it is stupidity of people and that scares the hell out of me. So I'll be flying to San Francisco on Sept. 11 of this year, and while the date crossed my mind it is out of reverence for those lost, not fear of those who caused it. But you can bet your sweet ass that I won't be stepping foot on the Golden Gate Bridge. Which is sad, because I've never been there before. I'll admire it from land and I'll try to convince those around me that while I am a head case, I'm a pretty nice head case.

Anybody out there in San Francisco??