Size Matters

I love that my little girls have dolls, I have a small obsession with all things miniature (well, almost all things....). I love that we can get doll accessories that are near perfect replicas of everything we have - I just think they are so cute! Often times, we will find something that is not designed for a doll, but it will click in my mind that it would be the perfect size for the doll to use. For example I found some Snapple chapstick in a mini Snapple bottle which I immediately purchased 4 of them to use with their dolls. They were the perfect size for a doll!!

In other news, I went to a Pure Romance party that a friend hosted. It was a night of women learning all about sex toys, lubes, etc. We ended up tasting flavored lubes, body oils, etc. There was a balm that was made to "heat up" your lips or could be used on nipples. We were to try it as a lip balm (for the mouth!!) just to see how it feels and how it heats up. We were each given a little disposable applicator so we didn't share any germs. The little applicator was red and made out of a penis mold. I had to bring mine home to show Hunk, because you just had to see it to believe it!

I was explaining to him some of the products they offered and that they had quite a few dildos to pass around the group. In order to give him a better idea of one of the products I pulled out my little red penis applicator to give him a visual. And then. It hit me. A miniature dildo.

I know, ewwwww. But OMG. I just could not resist. The sizing is just perfect. Good thing my kids are out of town with Grandma!!

40 hours

I only have 40 hours until I leave for vacation! Kidless vacation! Yaaaaahoooo!

We went to see UP this weekend, so that my kids would not have to wait until we returned to see it. I had NO idea it would be such a romantic story. I was crying before the lights were all the way out!! I'm not a cryer, either. I can usually control my urge to cry, but tears were POURING in the first 15 minutes. Perhaps I was particularly in tune to the romanticism due to our anniversary being this week - we've been looking at "old" photos and reminiscing about our past together. I still like Toy Story the best, but UP was remarkable. I really loved it.

In order to curb my guilt for ditching my kids, today we just returned from the Children's Museum of Atlanta. We spent 3 hours playing with stuff and learning about trees. In reality, my youngest daughter is on the very edge of being too old for this museum, but we have been there before and they still think it is a fun place to go. I had different ideas, but I let them decide where we would go for fun today. You do get to paint on the walls there, which I have to admit is a fun thing to do...

We then went to The Varsity for lunch. I got my standard "FO" and a slaw dog. My older daughter got fries, which I normally LOVE the fries at the Varsity, but today they were all limp and really greasy. This is not a bad thing for someone who shouldn't be eating fries - I certainly was not tempted by them today. We ate in the car (they have car jockeys) because the place was PACKED inside. I was done with dealing with crowds and rude people (from the museum) so the car was the best choice for my sanity. Besides, the car jockeys are cute mostly older gentlemen who are always fun to talk to.

Now, I'm off to try and get all the work done that needs to be finished before leaving town, not to mention the packing. Oh yeah, and the kids - even though they are not going I still have to pack for them to stay with their grandparents. It's actually HARDER to pack for kids staying behind, because I have to think of every.single.possible.occurance that could happen where I would not be there to just know what to do. When my kids are with me, I can make anything work for what they need.....when someone else is there they may not know how to interpret, therefore I feel like I should prepare. I always over prepare. This is what makes me insane, yet I continue to do it.

I look good

Today is a good day - my 8 year old looked at my driver's license and said, "You look really good in this picture!"

I said, "Whaat?" because I was half reading an email. And she said, "I mean, you always look good, but that's a good picture of you, Mommy."

Can you say.....FAVORITE CHILD?????? :)

In other news, we are volunteering at a community camp this week - I'm running the food portion and I'm working with the same volunteer from last year that gives me the willies. She is still giving me the vibe, and it is more so this year. I'm feeling a bit less uncomfortable about it because I have HUNK with me, but still. There is just something about this person that I just don't get.

Once this week is over my oldest daughter will be working on her camp counselor training. She is working with 3 camps this summer, helping as an assistant counselor and she is super excited. I'm helping her get her get ready to teach a class next week to a group of 20 younger girls. She has them for 3 hours and gets to teach them about Geocaching. We think this is going to be fun to do - hopefully they will all "get it"!!

THEN, the following week I am OFF. We are going to Key West for our anniversary. I can.not.WAIT!! I can feel the salty air, I can picture myself by the pool (the whitest person there, no doubt). I can literally taste the Sex On The Beach...... Oh wait, is that a drink, or a suggestion? Anyway, I am already there, mentally. So bear with me in my absence of mind for the next 12 days.

Released!

Wheeee - today is the last day of schooooooool! School's out for Summer! School's out Forever! (I wish!, well, somedays....)

Anyhoo, I sent my kids packing for the last day, no more alarm clocks, yipee!!

I am the editor of the memory book at my kids school. I create quite a book for the kids - compared to the books of the schools surrounding us, I can confidently say that our book is the frickin' bomb! I have a few others who submit pages here and there, but 90% of the book is layed out by yours truly. I have to say that I was very pleased with our book and got many compliments on how great it was.

Besides one person. This person purchased a personalized page for their child, which I did not design. One of the volunteers did this page as this was a child she knew and wanted to do her recognition page. The page was very cute, just as described by the parent EXCEPT there were two errors that I did not catch. The wording was altered - meaning that one word was replaced with another word - both words mean the same thing, for some reason the mom designing it got it wrong. "Pleased" became "delighted". Then there was an extra letter in the spelling of the signature line......ex. " Love, Mom, Dad & Jenna". Only Jenna should've had one "n", not two.

In this case, my first reaction is to immediately refund them their money, as a gesture of good faith. It's an honest mistake, we are just moms trying to make a cute book, and we are not professionals. Hell, I got the other 200 recognitions correct.... It is unfortunate that is was a mistake, but we are in elementary school and in all honesty, don't sweat the small stuff. The photos were fabulous and the overall message was intact, still take the money since we didn't get it just right.

But some people can surprise you. This person was one of them. This has become an outright TRAGEDY for this family. I have been called names, accused of doing this purposefully and the mom who did the page was verbally attacked by the mom of the kid. The parent wants the entire project re-done with corrections and wants compensation for their grief. WTF??

These kids are 11 years old. This is meant to be a memory book, and a fundraiser for the school. Are you really THAT consumed with yourself? I agree that it is an unfortunate mistake, but no one was hurt, the recognition made sense and just......WTF!! The amount of anger that these people have spent on this is INSANE!

I am proud of myself, though. In the past I would have let this really bother me. I really do like to please people and I will run myself to the ground if I screw up. But not this time. These people had a choice - they took the low road and I will not let it ruin my day, my week or the accomplishment of a volunteer job well done. I guess I am accepting the fact that there are people who just SUCK ASS out there. I can't understand how you raise a child to become a person of society who is so completely unaware of those around them. The real tragedy in this situation is these people, and how everyone around them is looking at them with total disgust because of their behavior. These people, who are teaching their child to be just as pathetic as they are. I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round......eh?

Just out of the woods....

My Mother's Day was spent in the woods. My oldest daughter's Girl Scout troop wanted to camp and wouldn't you know that the ONLY weekend we could include ALL girls would be Mother's Day!! Not really my idea of a pampering experience, but I did want to take them camping and if this was the only way, then so be it.

The girls decided that since it was Mother's Day myself and my co-leads would "sleep in" while they all cooked us up a big breakfast. It was a good theory.

I woke up at 6 am, had to pee - I passed one of the girl tents and heard talking so I'm thinking this is good, I may get to eat before lunchtime!! I did my business and climbed back in the sleeping bag.

After an hour, I couldn't lay there any longer so I got out of the tent expecting to find a flurry of girls preparing food. NADA. Not a one of them were out of their tents! I grabbed a Diet Coke and set myself up to 'nap' in my hammock.

The girls finally got moving about 7:30, they spent about 45 minutes trying to get a fire going (perhaps we should re-visit the firebuilding technique?). I was getting LOTS of questions about what to do, so it ended up that the leaders did a lot of the cooking - the girls really were not ready for this big of a meal on their own (maybe in a kitchen, but not over a fire). They were also all really bickering A LOT about who got to do which station. Aye yi yi! So, I'd say that the whole Mother's Day breakfast was a bit of a bust. They also did a really crappy job at cleaning up after the meal! I wasn't in the mood to be a bitch about it (I'm usually the one to enforce the chores in the group) so I let it go - something I have NEVER done!! Hope I haven't ruined my reputation there! I did not do the cleaning though, I got back in my hammock. One of the other leaders who REALLY does not let the girls take lead cleaned up the whole shooting match. I think this is the WORST possible thing she could do for these kids, but like I said, I was not in the mood to be The Enforcer.

Though the breakfast didn't happen, the rest of the day was really good. The girls wrote a play and acted it all out for us. They worked on it all weekend and did a lot of practicing. It was actually a very clever play - one of the girls wrote the entire script (three scenes) and then she did all of the directing. It was very funny and the entire group worked together on it, and HAPPILY!! I was very proud of them for coming together - something we have had a lot of issue with. I can say that the one girl who causes a lot of strife had left early - I realized how much the group dynamic changed without her there.

I then introduced them all to Geocaching. They loved it! We went on a hunt for two cache boxes and were successful at finding both of them. Both of the boxes were filled with swag and they happily swapped some stuff and we found a Geocoin to boot. It turned out to be much more exciting for them than I ever imagined!

When I got home, Hunk made lasagna for my dinner and I dropped I was so exhausted from the trip. The girls wore me out!

Caught in the Act

Suppose you went to a party hosted by a business acquaintance. Suppose your 'date' had a lot to drink and was feeling frisky. Suppose he suggests that you have a rendezvous in the restroom on the yacht of your business acquaintance. Suppose you give in and say, yes.......

Now, imagine that while you are in the middle of being frisky, that you hear a KNOCK. Ok, he calmly says, "just a second" and the abbreviated ending ensues. KNOCKING, more persistent, "just oonnnne second", in a breathy tone. Then you hear a voice, it's the owner of the boat, "I need to get in there!", more KNOCKING. Trying to wrap things up rather quickly, now.

OF COURSE, there is only one way out. OF COURSE, the owner is waiting on the other side of the closed door and there are TWO people in one restroom. OF COURSE, this is not a person that you know that well. OF COURSE, there are 3 other restrooms on the boat and this is the one that he comes to, AT THIS EXACT MOMENT.

Sigh.

Exiting the restroom, rather quickly, eyes averted.

Suppose you probably won't be invited to the next cruise.......

Zilch to blog

I've got nothing.

I'm literally just surviving these last 3 weeks of school. I can.not.wait to be freed from the school schedule!! I really don't have a problem getting up early in the morning, unless I am FORCED to. It is then that it becomes a chore that I loathe. I just can't get myself moving. I'm seriously thinking of home-schooling my kids, just so I don't have to be somewhere at a certain time every single day of the week. How pathetic is that?

I'm so against doing the same thing over and over. I have never been a good conformer to routine. I like to get things done and then do something new altogether. Luckily, this didn't hit me until a few years after college. I used to be a school teacher and had my life laid out on a schedule all the way to when I could pee. Once we moved and I was forced to get a 'different' job in the interim I realized that I HATE SCHEDULES! Therefore, I never went back to teaching. I kept my office job which allowed me to do all sorts of different and fun projects. I was also able to stay home one day a week. This completely spoiled me and I have not been the same since.

So, I've got nothing to blog, except that I am living for May 23. A day where I will likely wake up at 6 am, but I won't HAVE to. :)