Thursday, January 29, 2009

G'Day Mates!

As a Girl Scout Leader for two troops, one of my many challenges is to help girls come up with SWAPS!

What is a SWAP? It's a Special Whatchamacallit Affectionately Pinned Somewhere. Yeah, whatever...It's basically homemade FLAIR!

In February we are to represent Australia at our World Thinking Day Event (we are thinking about Girls in other countries sharing in our Girl Scout experience). Anyhoo, we need some Aussie Flair. As we attempt to share a bit of an Aussie experience with our Girl Scout sisters here in the US, we want to give them a "lil' sumthin" to pin to their hat.

We have thought of lots of easy things to do ( EASY seems to be the KEY for my in "let's take the easy way out" - I do not agree with this philosophy!! ). Mainly the ideas are boring. I wanted to paint mini Boomerangs, but I can't find the wooden shapes ANYWHERE that are small enough. That would have been fun!!

They ruled out making Pom Pom Koalas, too tedious. Fine by me, while I welcome the work I thought it was a snooze to give away Pom Pom animals.

My absolute favorite idea was to make Aboriginal shrunken heads out of beads and rick-rack. That idea was considered "too much work". BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

So, I'm thinking and searching, but to no avail. If anyone has any ideas, by all means, SHARE! I may be making Aboriginal heads with just my daughter. It would be rude, to have a boring troop SWAP and then for her to have her own cool one, but I'm beginning to not give a shit at all.
The latest decision was to print off pictures of Koalas and have it laminated and stick a pin through it. Now, tell me, what kid is going to find a piece of paper exciting!!??

Monday, January 26, 2009


I don't smoke, I never have - well, I did try it once, but I hated it. I've always hated it and it became a total dealbreaker for me with guys. I dated one guy who smoked, however I rarely saw him smoke and he rarely smelled like smoke - the thing is that I knew it was never going to go anywhere because of that one habit. There were PLENTY of other indicators that this guy was a loser, but it was that ONE that made me keep my heart guarded. It was a blessing in disguise because had I been "in" this relationship completely my heart would have been destroyed. He was one of many men who made me *hate* men.

Smoking is something that I do not understand and something that I knew that I could never live with. I've known so many people in my life that have quit, failed, quit, failed, etc. I figured that I did not want to take a chance if a guy said he would quit. I had no faith that he would not start smoking again, and it was something I could never put up with.

I have friends & family members who smoke cigarettes and while I still don't understand it, I don't place it as a dealbreaker on those relationships. It is just something that I knew I could never live with day to day. I don't like the smell, the look and I just don't get it.

To get to my point though, is the BUTTS. I was driving behind a car and during the course of our 20 minute ride I watched this person toss 3 butts out the window. It seems to be an un-written excuse that tossing cigarette butts out the window is not littering. This is something that I just don't get. Of the people that I know that smoke, I'd say roughly 99% of them would never toss their McDonald's trash or their gum wrapper out the car window, but almost all of them feel free and clear to drop a cigarette butt wherever they happen to be. ???

I did have one friend that would never throw her butts out - she said her daughter caught her and was devastated that she was littering. So, she stopped. However, her car was disgusting with an ashtray jammed to overflowing with butts. Ohhhhh, the smell!! So, I see the issue of not wanting the butts in the car - it can be down right nasty. (I wish her daughter's devastation with her actual smoking would've made her stop!)

Am I missing something, or is it socially acceptable to litter with cigarette butts?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I have a dongle for the software that I use to operate my business. A dongle, or keylock, which means that if said dongle is not attached to my computer my software will not function. It is a security item, so that the software can not be shared. I get it. The software was expensive in my book - $5,000. There are definately folks out there that would try to copy, share or sell software with such a price tag. The keylock is justifiable.

The keylock is also an annoyance. The problem is that I purchased a new laptop to replace the relic (5 years old) that I've been using. My hard drive died and it made more sense to just upgrade. I've got a new, sleek machine that does not have a parallel port - a parallel port is needed to attach my dongle. This renders my software useless.

My first run of business was to contact the software manufacturer to see if I could get a new dongle that is USB compatible. YES, they say.....however, the cost is $500. WTF? If I am willing to surrender my parallel dongle, in replacement for a USB key I should not be ripped a new asshole with a $500 fee. Maybe I'm expecting too much?? I realize that the new dongle has materials and labor expenses, but I really don't feel that it should come with a $500 price tag! Seriously. I'm happy to pay for all shipping and a modest upgrade fee, but I just really feel like this company is being a total rip off.

I tried a work-around option by purchasing a USB to Parallel converter cable. Unfortunately, this option did not work. I even got my little Hunky nerd to work on it, but it just didn't work. So, my best "legal" option is to purchase a new dongle. Whooop de doo.

My second option is to do a full-on upgrade of the software. The thing is, the "upgrade" is not an upgrade, it is a switch to a completely new software (which uses USB keylock). Granted what they suggest I switch to is a really awesome software, but I'm doing fine with what I have and I really don't have the luxury of time to learn a completely new process. Nor, do I have another $6,000 budgeted for a complete software overhaul. I'm really kind of stuck.

So, I pour money into a new PC, more money into a new dongle and next year I'll pour my last remaining dollars into new software. At least maybe I'll be able to sell the $500 dongle to someone who needs it - like I need it now.

***why didn't I purchase a new PC with a parallel if I knew I needed one? well, to be honest, I got a helluva deal on this machine and to get a parallel port I would have to have a special ordered PC. Parallel is so dated that new machines don't have them any longer. Of course, I never thought it would be this big of a deal, either. So, YES, I brought this on myself so I should just SHUT UP***

Friday, January 16, 2009


I am in complete and utter avoidance of all things labeled as "productive".

I do not have one ounce of motivation in me to do anything that I "should" be doing.

THANK GOD IT IS FRIDAY! And I have deemed Saturday as 'The Day That I Shall Eat Bacon', and none of the turkey that tries to call itself bacon. I'm having BACON, dammit.

Is it time to go to sleep yet?

On a side note, I am putting together a package for my chemo buddy. While I was looking for something fun to send to her, I found some awesome Valentine things that I will send to her dogs in February. Can you just say CUTE? And I don't really care for dogs all that much.....I'm a cat girl.

They are red and pink - I can totally see her weiner dogs dragging these things around. I also liked them because of the toothy grin. It just flashed me right back to the Mumbly cartoon. I LOVE that dog's wheezy snicker. Great, now I've got that and Grape Ape on the mind...

Grape Ape
Grape Ape!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009


So I pull into the parking spot at the grocery store. I notice an old guy in the car next to me, sitting alone. Nice Toyota Camry, an old gal approaching. They seem very grandparent-ish, dressed nice. Typical retired looking couple, I'd say in their 70's.

She gets in the car and hands out lottery tickets, they both start scratching.....having some fun on this cold wintery day. I go in to shop.

Fast forward 50 minutes to an hour...I'm walking to my car. The Camry is still there and the old folks are still in it. Still scratching!

I'm thinking that they are SLOW scratchers, but then I look and see the PILE of tickets they have been scratching on. And they are the $5 lotto tickets. Then grandma gets out of the car with one ticket and what appears to be $40.....she is heading inside the store for MORE TICKETS.

Is this what retirement looks like?

We are going to be insanely rich from our magnificent 401K's, but bored to tears and need to spice things up blowing it all on lottery madness....


Desperate for a miracle, spending our last $500 on lottery tickets to save the Camry from Joe Repo.

I'm thinking the latter.....

Monday, January 12, 2009


Was pointed to this Microsoft Songsmith ad, it is the cheesiest thing I've watched in a looonngg time.

Had to share.


I'm completely ALONE today - whoo hooo! And I've done absolutely nothing productive -

except to not stuff my face with Ding Dongs.....the day, however, is not over.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Tom and Jerry

I believe that I have seen every episode ever made of Tom & Jerry. And I think, maybe, twice.

The doctor gave strict orders that I was to place no limits on the amount of time my child may plant herself on the couch in front of the TV for.two.weeks.

OMG - I think the child's brain is melting. We have 3 more days of this!!

In the past 2 hours I have received an order for strawberries, with powdered sugar.....but actually 3 more than I put on the plate because 10 is way better than 7 (?), a bowl of Trix cereal, an egg - cooked like the one we just saw on a commercial (!) that is all white around the edges and nice and smiley face yellow and round in the center (which I did completely wrong and had to start over), and oh, just one more egg exactly like the one you just made and had already cleaned up from, some chicken & garlic ravioli, Gatorade - but not this dark blue one you poured, the light blue because it feels much better on the throat, 5 more strawberries, and the big motorcycle ramp looking pillows that you keep in your closet......the ones that you say are for your back, because the patient's back is feeling like it needs a special pillow. Whew.....

Can you see why I am anxiously awaiting for this child to be able to go back to school. I'm so thankful that she is doing well after surgery, but I'm not cut out to be a hand maiden!!

She did say thank you, each and everytime and my 'commercial looking' eggs were super yummy......go figure.

Today we get to finish up all the work that we picked up from the school so she will be all caught up. I imagine this is a bit like homeschooling would be, well, minus the TV. I don't think I could do it!

***motorcycle ramp pillows = Liberator sex positioning pillows which we won from a radio contest. They are HUGE! And I must say, they do look like fun, whether you are a kid or an adult***

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Hunk is out of town.

My 11 year old walked in to my room this a.m. and I was still asleep, she saw a big mound of body laying next to me and screamed, "Mom! WHO is THAT?!! WHO are you SLEEPING with?"

Nice to know that when the pool boy comes over that my oldest child will have no restraint in calling him out.

**my little one had a painful night and got in bed with me, I piled pillows down the middle of the bed (making it appear to be a large person) so that I would not get kicked and rolled over. Sleeping with a kid who sleeps sideways, backwards and upsidedown does not make for a sleepful night.

Monday, January 5, 2009


So my hard drive is toast. Yes. My wonderful, pocket protected, horn-rimmed, live-in geek squad had made an image of my drive the day before we left for vacation.

Last nite, from Toronto, my nerd was able, from Toronto, to start up a Virtual Machine of my hard drive image. So, as I sat in front of his PC in our basement, he, from Toronto, moved my mouse, opened up shit and showed me how to access my stuff, from Toronto. It was as if he were right there, in my basement, hanging over my shoulder, moving my mouse.......except that there was no tongue in my ear. Which is a given if the man is behind me.

I'm not sure which is better, technology itself or having a geek that GETS IT.

Now, if only I could get some tongue......some things are just better in person.

Sunday, January 4, 2009


Does it make me a horrible parent if I'm just DONE. I'm so over this whole 'vacation'. I can. not. wait. for school on Tuesday.

I guess I feel partially horrible because one of my kids just had surgery and I'm just not so happy to answer a damn ringing bell every three seconds. I'm so over all of this. I truly do hate to see her in pain, but I am about to go over the frickin' edge here. I have another week at home with this kid, but THANK GOD for TUESDAY when I can ship this other one out!!

In other news, uhhhhm. There is no other news.

Hunk and I were discussing on December 18 how great we've been getting along. Not that we normally hate each other or anything, but we bicker and annoy one another pretty often. We had a long streak of pleasantness. Unusually long. But let me tell you, that streak has been broken, stripped and puree'd in a Magic Bullet. You see, December 18 was the first day of Hunk's vacation. And then he was off until January 2. And the kiddos were home from school for the entire time. And we all slowly began to despise one another.

Hopefully getting back to work and school for half of the household will relieve some of this stress. Of course, my crashed PC isn't helping anything. It truly SUCKS to depend on your better half as your PC geek and WITHOUT FAIL he is traveling EVERY TIME there is a hiccup. Only this time, it's a fucking puke storm. And I REALLY need to work. Shit.

**don't you judge me - I'm not some stupid idiot that knows nothing about PC's. I'm very self sufficient, mostly. The stupid ass hard drive is clicking and the operating system can't be found - that's serious doo doo.