Responsibility

I looked so forward to going on vacation last week, I usually do. I generally will pack for vacation no less than a week in advance. Last year, we took the kids on a cruise and I packed for the cruise over a period of 6 months - I kid you not. I will set up an area in the house and when I see something that would be great for wherever we are going I put it in the box. Ok, so it isn't truly "packing", but I guess preparing. The point is that I REALLY look forward to vacations.

I'm back to reality now and, as usual, I'm having a hard time getting back into the groove of things. I don't want to cook or plan meals, I don't want to work, I don't want to exercise and I definately don't want to get up early. I'm lucky in the respect that I don't have a 'real' job where I have to get up (God Bless You, Kevin, for having a real job!!), but I have a ton of other responsibilities that I just don't want to face. I'm just so tired of having so many things to worry about and attend to that I have a paralysis of effort and can't do anything. A week is not enough of a break. I often wonder if I'd be happier if I just got a job where I was more of a minion instead of being the owner, worker, buyer, salesperson, CEO, CFO and janitor all at once. I doubt I'd be happy long, but I wonder.....

I'm not sure how long of a break would deem enough, probably no amount of time is truly enough. Perhaps I just need change. I'm the kind of person that can't stand a routine and I get stir crazy and need things to go differently or to have something new to do. Unfortunately for me, I keep adding new things to do or to be responsible for and I don't seem to retire anything else. Therefore, I am constantly overloaded with responsibilities. It also has to do with my need to be in control of everything around me - I am getting better with that, but still...


I'm in a post-vacation slump. Wouldn't it be nice if you could go on vacation and have someone attend to everything for you while you're away. What I would give to come home to no laundry, a week's worth of dinners, no bills or activities and definately not a pile of work and related messages & emails to return!! If only there were a Bathroom Monkey to do it all while I'm away!!



Side note - what kind of person does it take to enjoy exercise? Seriously, it must be genetic because no matter how hard I try to enjoy it I count the milli-seconds until it is over. And I can never motivate myself to push an extra few minutes/lbs/whatever. I absolutely hate every moment of it, no matter what kind of mood I'm in. It must be my intense aversion to routines and that I feel this is something that I have to do regularly. Is it just me?