Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Hunk tries to be a happy person. He is not. His trying is in vain. He is destined to be a cranky old coot.

I try my best to control, steer around and/or eliminate things in general that tend to tick him off. I keep a little treasure box of treats so that I can distract him from pissery. I try diligently to stay on top of keeping him informed of all things so that he won't freak out (Seinfeld reference). But I am at a dead end......I am also a bit worried.

Hunk hates one of our cats. Honestly, he hates them both, but he can tolerate the boy by tossing him outside. Our girl cat, Ashley, lives inside the house and her little paws 'ner stray outside the door. She is always in the house and underfoot.

There are several things about Ashley that he loathes and which put him in a state of pissery. These things happen on a daily basis, mostly about 1000 times per day....

The cat talks non-stop, the cat wants to eat non-stop, the cat farts, the cat poops in a box which has to be cleaned, the cat nags the other cat constantly to clean himself, the cat sits in HIS spot, the cat is very picky and needs special food and care, the cat is getting very old, the cat wants to sleep in our bed, the cat has bad breath, the cat sheds hair and the cat is forever up in HIS business. There is NO doing anything in this house without the cat being on it, in it, or around it.

So Hunk wants to get rid of this cat. This is the cat that we got when we moved into our first home, she was our little child and we have had her for 15 years. Hunk would love nothing more than to ship this cat off to a nursing home for some little old lady to love.

My feeling is that we committed to this cat when we got her and she has every right to remain in our family until her death. So we have a quandry.

And where does my worry lie? In short, I am a lot like this cat (though I don't poop in a box and I use Scope regularly). I worry there may be a Craigslist ad someday that reads......

"FREE to a good home, friendly older woman, makes a great companion to the elderly or children, housetrained, some dietary restrictions. FREE DELIVERY, except during NFL game times."