Plan Ahead Dumbass

I am the proud owner of a custom embroidery business. I decided about 5 years ago that I was tired of having to wait months on end to get my kids name sewn on a lunchbox by the local embroiderer, I'm pretty crafty, mildly like to sew and why not get my own machine???!! So I did it and before 6 months was up I had moved from a small home machine to an almost driveable commercial embroidery machine. It cost as much as a car, but I had people lined up waiting for me to adorn their kids things with names and cute frogs. It has gone rather well. I've never spent money on advertising, yet I have more work than I'd like to have. Word of mouth, great friends supporting me and a few local showings have gotten my little business on the map.

But it just isn't as fun any more. I'm waivering on whether or not to keep it going. The reason is that I've run into far too many people who are pieces of shit. I am so tired of dealing with far too many customers who have no respect and treat me as if I were their servant. I know that comes with business and that customers are what make the profits and the customer is always right, but why the hell do you have to be such a bitch about it?? And why for one should I rush your job because you have no organizational skills? I have run into far too many people with embroidery emergencies and it makes me laugh that they get so freaked out about stuff, but then it just really PISSES me off because I'm supposed to fix their dumbass procrastination problems. The last time I checked you pretty much know that a kid is going to graduate from high school starting in August at the beginning of the school year, worst case scenario is late January when you know if they are passing or not. So why is it that you have to wait until 2 days before graduation to order a personalized gift???

My husbands advice is to JUST SAY NO! I'm not that type of person, though I should be. I JUST SAID NO to a lot of people last December when they waited until my kids were out of school and wanted me to sew gifts for them. WHEN?? My kids are home on break and I'm officially CLOSED, I actually advertised since the beginning of November that I would be CLOSED once the school holiday started and I made my deadline clear. But Susie calls and just needs one little thing done. Why doesn't Susie realize that along with her one little thing there are 100 other Susies that left me the exact same message the same day!!?? Everyone thinks they are special, but nobody thinks I am. I am the one doing all the work to make your sorry procrastination dumbass look like a hero with a great gift. Then you are going to try to talk down my price as if I am not already the best price in town.

So my dilemma is whether or not to throw in the towel. At one time we really did have good use for the extra income, but at this point there is not a need. My income is great and it provides fun money for us, but we aren't exactly in a spot where it would hurt if I just didn't do this anymore. But I really like to do it - for some people and I really don't like to do it for others. Can I pick my customers?? The problem with that is everybody knows everybody else and I can't really "close", but keep doing stuff for some of the good people - or can I? I wish I could be the bitch for once, but that just is not my personality.

So nothing solved by this vent, but it felt good. My business license fee is due - what's a girl to do?

I'm a MOM?!?!

My very thought after having my first daughter was FEAR. What had I done? It was such a surreal end to the nine long months of anticipation. Like ecstatic joy and mind numbing doubt all at once.

Luckily it has been 10 years and we've both survived my stupidity. We even managed to add a little sister in once I took 4 years to calm down after birth.

Being a mom is harder than I thought, to me I think that girls are harder, but I don't have boys. We just had the big talk about what is going to happen to her body soon. She is not surprisingly laid back about the whole thing. I was intensely worried at her age after my mom told me very little about puberty. Red is so much more laid back than I am and I'm pretty cool. She absolutely doesn't let things rattle her or other people bother her - she is just happy to be her and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. I have no idea where she gets this trait, but I love it.

My husband wanted to get Red a shirt that said "Trust Me, I know Fashion". Of course he was being a total butt because Red wears exactly what feels good to her - there's no matching, no outfits, no coordination and no discussion. She wears what strikes her mood and will sharply tell you that she wears what SHE likes. What a girl - I hope that I can manage to not destroy her total self love and that even better there is never a male that destroys it for her. I want to protect her, but I have to let her live and I know how hard the road ahead is and how I have to let her travel it in her own way. Being a mom is hard.

Wiped Out

I can think of NOTHING to write about. I've got too many things to do floating around in my head.

I'm wiped - I took 15 Girl Scouts on a 5 hour car ride to the Gatlinburg Ripley's Aquarium to Sleep in the Shark Tunnel. It was really cool, but I got NO sleep. I mean ZERO. And then we had to drive the 5 hours back home, on ZERO sleep. That, my friends, is safety at it's best. I can't decide if the best part was the girl who literally cried all nite - and I mean literally all nite - or the barfing in the car on the way home. Good times! It was really cool to have the entire aquarium all to ourselves - kind of like Night at the Museum, only nothing happened, bummer.

I'm getting on the f-ing treadmill today, if it kills me.

Death Called

Death or Beth? - cute girl with blonde hair or tall guy in a robe with a sickle?

That still cracks me up (a line from Just Shoot me). I love TV.

Dave over at Blogography is thinking about Death with all of his new found responsibility. Funny, because the thought of death is partially what prompted me to start this blog which I never seem to have anything good to write about it. I digress...

In February I decided that I wanted to up the man's life insurance and decided to up mine as well - the amount up meant all new physical/medical tests for the both of us. I've become accustomed to such a posh lifestyle with my man's earnings that I wanted to make sure that when he dies on the couch playing Zelda that my life won't have to change much, except that I'll not have to make cheese dip anymore.

Lo and behold we are both out of shape, so we don't qualify for "premium pricing", not that I really expected to, but I did not think that we were in the category of "could drop dead tonite". Apparently HE is, but I'm in the middle. So in order to make sure that my kids are well provided for we have tons of life insurance now, but it is costing a butt load of money. Besides the money, the thought that we are relatively unhealthy people has me thinking about death and how, unlike Dave, I am completely NOT ready for it.

My last dying wish would be for someone to go and TORCH my house, because if anyone had to go through and see what a shambles my business paperwork is in it would rock me in the grave. I would never want anyone to unveil the facade I've spent years building up. I'm SO not together - business or personal. Most of my friends think I'm so with it and they are so wrong. They wonder how I do it all and I secretly want to scream - because I feel like a total loser. I do just enough of any one aspect the make it seem "together". My kids know I'm a wreck, but luckily I can stiffle them with donuts. They've promised to never tell anyone and they know that if they do I'll rip the lifegiving batteries from their Tamagotchis.

I don't know if I'll ever be ready for death - right now, being a mom I feel like I can't die. If Death showed up at the door I would have to give him a cookie and send him back home because I've got too much to do to have company over. I would rather be anything (paralyzed, dismembered, etc.) than to have to miss out on what's to come for my girls. How could I not be there for them? That in itself would be worse than death for me. Of course, they stand to get so much money from my death that they could probably soothe their pain with the purchase of a Mercedes.

So death, I'm not ready, but I can refer you to Dave and he gives out free t-shirts.