Monday, May 14, 2007

I'm a MOM?!?!

My very thought after having my first daughter was FEAR. What had I done? It was such a surreal end to the nine long months of anticipation. Like ecstatic joy and mind numbing doubt all at once.

Luckily it has been 10 years and we've both survived my stupidity. We even managed to add a little sister in once I took 4 years to calm down after birth.

Being a mom is harder than I thought, to me I think that girls are harder, but I don't have boys. We just had the big talk about what is going to happen to her body soon. She is not surprisingly laid back about the whole thing. I was intensely worried at her age after my mom told me very little about puberty. Red is so much more laid back than I am and I'm pretty cool. She absolutely doesn't let things rattle her or other people bother her - she is just happy to be her and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. I have no idea where she gets this trait, but I love it.

My husband wanted to get Red a shirt that said "Trust Me, I know Fashion". Of course he was being a total butt because Red wears exactly what feels good to her - there's no matching, no outfits, no coordination and no discussion. She wears what strikes her mood and will sharply tell you that she wears what SHE likes. What a girl - I hope that I can manage to not destroy her total self love and that even better there is never a male that destroys it for her. I want to protect her, but I have to let her live and I know how hard the road ahead is and how I have to let her travel it in her own way. Being a mom is hard.